This Question is Messing with People: How Are You?
Hello. How are you? This simple phrase keeps getting me in trouble. When I call a service number, I want to ask the person how he or she is doing before I start yammering on about what I need. I think it’s only polite. People keep getting tense and even a little angry – edgy if you will. Why did it become the norm that simply posing a question ruffles people’s feathers with them automatically thinking you want something? That you are a pushy telemarketer? It irks me. I know I don’t sound like a cheesy salesperson. My friends have confirmed it.
There is another common reaction: complete silence. Shocked silence. Some people are so accustomed to going through an entire day without anyone asking about them that they just don’t know how to answer the question…any question. It is a shock to their system. This is usually followed by a slow stuttering,”I’m fine thank you!” They work through the shock.
A third reaction is the complete silence while sitting in the disbelief that someone cares enough to ask followed by the automatic I-probably-did-not-hear-that-correctly-so-that-question-never-happened-vibe. They then dive right into business talk. Sometimes they recover from auto-pilot mode, sometimes not.
So my question is this, how did we get to the point that asking how someone is doing creates mistrust, anger and disbelief because it is such a foreign concept? How did this happen? Personally, I plan to keep this up and freaking people out. We need to change the vibe of people thinking a question is a means to take energy from them rather than a way to give or share energy with them. Let’s shake it up shall we?
